Horror QQ #11 - A book with teeth and claws

Music: City sounds on a warm Friday night

It's 11:30 in the evening, and I just came home from a funny, feel-good play by Ateneo de Manila's Blue Repertory entitled Stages of Love, and although I do not celebrate Valentines, nobody said I couldn't laugh about love. (Actually, I got home at around 10:30 p.m., but had only gotten around to writing now.)

So laugh I did.

But hormones are terrible things, and combine them with a wave of mean cramps, and BAM!, we got ourselves a very cranky little me.

No review for the play tonight, sorry.

Plus, since I'm technically in a bad mood, I'm quoting something from a children's book, because children's books always make me feel better (well, most of them, anyway). This is a lesson for young kids not to read a book with smudgy, syrupy fingers. Because some books eat people. Like this one, whose title is, well, what do you know, The Book That Eats People by John Perry, with illustrations by Mark Fearing. I'm excerpting lines worth two spreads, so, well, enjoy.

This is a bad book. A book with teeth and claws. It's a monster that eats people. You should throw it in the fireplace on the coldest February day. You should grind it page by page in your daddy's coffee grinder.

Experts say that when a book eats someone it's either self-defense or a mistake, and the book never eats anyone again.

But this book ate Sammy, Victoria, Mr. Singh, and then it ate Joey, Juan, and Isabel when they found it in a heap of boxes on a street in Philadelphia.

Of course, someone from Neighborhood Watch saw the book eat those three kids and called the police.

They took it and locked it in a jail cell, where it ate Chuck Anderson, who deserved it.

Some people it's cruel to chain a book. The guards did it anyway.

*****

Horror QQ #12 - An adult wolf has 42 teeth

Horror QQ #10 - Life's too slippery for books