Ang Sampung Utos, An Afterword

Music: "Who Are You" by Ryan Ocampo

A month after it happened, I finally found the time to write about the play. Which is a good thing, I think, since the euphoria from two successful runs has passed, the frustration over the minute mistakes (mostly) forgotten. At least now, I can look at the overall experience in a more objective manner (pfft, as if), and try to distance myself from the mixed feelings of elation and irritation over everything that had gone right and wrong.

Pre-press . . . or something

The concept for the play came about while I was brainstorming for ideas for our annual production. I wanted to perform “Korinto,” a play by YESHUA that I watched way back in college. Unfortunately, I couldn’t acquire the rights to produce it, let alone a copy of the script to go over. Desperate, I pleaded with God to give me something, anything, I could present to the members of our theater ministry, something that goes in line with our theme for the year—instruction for godly living.

And because God answers prayers, he gave me the perfect idea for the play. Because what better way to instruct Christians on godly living than use the Ten Commandments as a springboard? Thus, the play “Ang Sampung Utos” was born.

It took me more than three months to write the whole thing, starting sometime around March and going past my end-of-May deadline. One day before the scheduled auditions, I was still having the script approved by our pastor and ministry adviser. One day before the first rehearsal, I was still revising the script, checking for mistakes I might have overlooked. I was unprepared, and I knew it. Still, I knew God would be with us every step of the way, so, armed with the third draft of the script and with little idea on how to go about the blockings, I set off, met the cast, and started with the production.

And nothing is impossible with the Lord, it’s true. Because four months after our first meeting, we were able to perform in front of a full house, all eager to learn God’s message through the script he provided us. And when the final curtain call ended, and everyone clapped their hands, I couldn’t help but think silently, “Thank you so much, Lord. All glory to you.”

Up close and personal?

My favorite part of the play is the dialogue between Jason (the pastor) and Catherine (the wife of Daniel, Jason’s best friend) in the "Huwag kang mangangalunya" (Thou shalt not commit adultery) scene. I think it’s one of the scenes I enjoyed writing the most. I can’t imagine myself doing what Catherine did there, so it was really challenging (and fun!) for me to come up with lines that will make her flirty, seductive, but still believable. And I loved that the actors who played the parts were spot on—Malvin, who portrayed Jason, was everything awkward and dignified and uncomfortable with Catherine’s advances, while Jas (Catherine) did a great job of all but throwing herself at Jason’s feet (she latched on his shoulders a couple of times though). She portrayed the part so well that had she been a real person, I’d want to slap her hard . . . twice. On the same cheek. And when she said, "Bakit, Pastor, don't you find me beautiful?" and then paused for effect, I almost squealed.

/coughs

Anyway, my favorite line was delivered by Matthew, Daniel and Catherine’s son in the "Huwag kang magnanakaw" (Thou shalt not steal) scene. When Daniel asked him if he saw the money he left on his study table, Matthew answered that he didn’t. And when Daniel insisted, as if trying to get him to confess, in comes the punch line:

Matthew: Hay naku, Dad, may tawag diyan eh . . . old age. (Geez, Dad, that’s called old age.)

And I love, love, love it because the two actors who played Matthew delivered the line so differently, giving the character a twist in each run. Agi was more pang-asar (Annoying? I can’t think of the proper translation right now.), while Nico was a little more respectful of his dad, and was more like just stating a fact. It’s nice to see how different actors interpret the same script, which is why I love working on alternates for roles, if I can afford to.

Speaking of alternates, the Kayla (Jason and Andrea's daughter) actresses did a superb job showing two different personalities for one character. Rosette was a little more mature and sophisticated, maybe?, while Jasmine was childish, to the point where she was literally (no, not figuratively) bouncing up and down the stage during her scenes. But hey, both interpretation of the character worked!

But my best actor award goes to Nelson, who portrayed the character of Daniel. From the responsible, gullible father to a protective husband who will go all guns ablazing against whoever dared to say a bad word about his wife, he was able to bring to life a character that I didn't really pay attention to when I was writing the draft of the script (tee hee). I mean, I know what I want to happen to him in the end, but I was more concerned on how to make Catherine exceedingly annoying but someone the audience could relate to (especially in the later scenes), and how to make a round character out of Andrea (from the typical housewife who envies her neighbor to a person who put her complete trust in the Lord), that I didn't pay too much attention to Daniel. Not that it mattered, because Nelson was able to flesh out what little personality I gave the character, so much that I never want to be at the receiving end of his anger. On stage, or in real life. On the other hand, Michael, who played alternate, gave the character a completely different personality. It was more of internal anger that I saw in him, in contrast to Nelson's external outburst. 

And Lhen, the actress for Andrea? Gaah, perfect mother material. Especially the scene where she was talking to Kayla about her reasons for going to church (Alalahanin ang araw ng Sabbath upang ipangiling / Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy). And when she said, "Ano ka bang bata ka. Syempre, ina mo ako. Lagi akong handang makinig sa mga saloobin mo (or something, I forget the exact line haha!)," I shivered pleasantly at the motherly-ness of it all. And like Kayla, I almost said out loud, "Ma, salamat po ha."

Curtain call

Yes, it's a wonderful experience. Yes, the endless rehearsals gave me endless headaches. Yes, given the chance, I would do everything all over again. After all, I always make it a point to tell my team that we do what we do to give glory to the Lord, and not to ourselves. So in the end, it matters little if an actor forgot a line or missed his cue, or if the audience clapped thunder-loud during the curtain call, because no matter how much we appreciate their applause (I’d be lying if I said we don’t) or how disappointed we were that the play wasn’t executed as perfectly as we wanted, if we know, deep in our hearts, that we gave it our all for the one true Director of our lives, well, isn’t that more than enough?

One Day, Five Years From Now

Music: Ask Me How I Am by Snow Patrol

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice—

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

A friend asked me, "Where do you see yourself five years from now?"

The easiest answer is "I'll be five years older," but that's dry humor at its best, and probably not the most appropriate response to a serious (I think) question.

I guess I haven’t really thought about it a lot, which could either mean that a) I’ve been too busy with the present to pay attention to the future, or b) I don’t particularly care. Either reason is sad, and a little irresponsible, too.

And so, it got me thinking (which eventually led to a headache, but that’s a story for another day). My best friend Potch and used to talk about going into business—a café with a bookshoppe, or a bookshoppe with a café, or even without the café, really, just the bookshoppe will do—a couple of times. Except that we're both Literature majors, and although my mom is a superb businesswoman, I think I take after my dad more, and therefore will probably not be able to sustain the business without the help of people who know how to actually run it. But it's a thought that’s stayed in my mind for a while now, something I even discussed with my mom a few years back, and she’s supportive, really, so at least I’m sure we’ll have one regular customer?

And then I realize, I want to run a mini-library. No, seriously. For kids. Because although I'm technically bad with children, I want to give them youngsters a chance to experience the joys of reading while they’re still young. Especially in this day and age, when it’s so easy to be distracted with television, computer games, and the Internet. Because there’s a different kind of magic in holding an actual book and flipping through its pages, smelling the scent of paper and ink, that you can’t experience when reading an e-book using Kindle or an iPad (not that I’m against e-books, because I’m not). Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I’ve been hording children’s books and YA novels for the past, oh, say, seven years? Of course, a community library sounds cool and ambitious, but I will need a good spot (the rent has to be reasonable, of course), and people who share the same vision, more or less. And money. Maybe in a few years. Somewhere in Marikina, perhaps, near our church. Or in Pasig. Hmm.

And then something theater-related. I once had this thought, just a passing fancy, really, of setting up a community theater, or a small theater school, for kids. But then I have to take an MA on theater arts first, and I don’t think that’s happening in the near future. Well, my sister has a degree in Education, so I can bully her into handling the teaching/academic side of things. Or something. But I think this is a dream that I really would want to work on—to train kids, help them mold their skills not only in acting, but in different fields as well. Something that can help them later on in life. Oh, wouldn’t that be awesome?

But, I think, what I really want to do, wherever five years from now finds me, is to be able to give back to the Lord. Whether it be by providing the best service one can have in our bookshoppe/café, or by providing kids with books that inspire (or mentally scar them for life, although I sincerely hope this would not be the case), or by training children to better prepare themselves for whatever dream they wish to pursue (and hone their acting skills, to boot). If by doing these little things, I can give glory to God, well, wouldn’t that be the most amazing thing ever?

Well, we’ll see in five years’ time then J

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do—

determined to save

the only life you could save.

–“The Journey,” Mary Oliver

people need the Lord (and other theater blues)

Music: People Need the Lord by Steve Green

With the postponed performance for the Bicutan drug rehab this coming Sunday, I felt pretty bad about all the rehearsals we had the past couple of Saturdays. Not that I think they're wasted; I'm just...well...disappointed. Then I got an invitation for a music sketch performance on December 15, and at first I'm a bit hesitant to accept, because it's a weekday and it's hard to come up with something in the span of a few days.

But the Lord works in ways that I can never comprehend. I got nine volunteers who are willing to perform on the 15th, and I have until Friday evening to write the script. I have absolutely nothing, but I believe the Lord will give me wisdom, since He pretty much made this possible to begin with.

In the meantime, here are the lyrics to the song I'll be working on. This song was suggested by the event organizer, and though it's not exactly a Christmas-y song, it's perfect for evangelism. And I've always wanted to write something for this anyway, but never really took the time to sit down and actually do it. Now I won't have an excuse anymore, so in a way, maybe this is God's way of telling me to get off my butt and write more material for the songs I love.

If anyone wants a copy of the script (assuming I actually finish something on time), I'd be more than willing to share. Just give me a holler, a shout-out, a hello-how-are-you and I'll e-mail you a copy of the file, most probably in Excel format. Uh, yes, because formatting a music sketch script in Word is torture.

Okay, enough mumbling. Here you go:

People Need the Lord (Steve Green)
Everyday they pass me by
I can see it in their eyes
Empty people filled with care
Headed who knows where
On they go through private pain
Living fear to fear
Laughter hides their silent cries
Only Jesus hears

People need the Lord
People need the Lord
At the end of broken dreams
He's the open door
People need the Lord
People need the Lord
When will we realize
People need the Lord
 We are called to take His light
To a world where wrong seems right
What could be too great a cost for
Sharing life with one who's lost
Through His love our hearts can feel
All the grief they bear
They must hear the words of life
Only we can share
 People need the Lord
People need the Lord
At the end of broken dreams
He's the open door
People need the Lord
When will they realize
That we must give our lives
For people need the Lord
People need the Lord
People need the Lord
  

Sirkulo: an Afterword

Music: Chocolate by Snow Patrol

It was one hell of a ride, that’s for sure.

Except that we’re not actually going to hell, but the opposite direction. And no, I’m not talking about purgatory either, mostly because I don’t believe in it.

I still have mixed feelings about the whole thing. On the one hand, I’m close to furious about the kinks and mistakes that happened—line bloopers by actors, lapel microphone and other technical difficulties, and the feeling that we’re not ready, damn it! On the other hand, I’m happy it’s finally over…and the audience turnout was really good. Add that to the fact that it was an evangelistic play that (hopefully) was able to touch countless lives—then darn it, I’m willing to be forgiving.

Three months of late-night rehearsals, of sweat and blood (literally and figuratively), of hunger pangs and headaches. Half of the time I wanted to give up, walk away and never come back, but of course I never do. Sometimes I want to throw chairs at my actors; instead, I throw them a slipper or two. Once or twice I cried without them knowing, just hid in the comfort room (not much comfort there, I tell you) and wiped away furious tears.

But then I remind myself over and over again that I am not doing this for myself or for anyone else—I’m doing this for the Lord. More than a thespian, more than a director of a play, I am a minister, a servant of God, tasked to lead a bunch of, uhh, diverse young people into producing a play that carries a message about salvation. And I revel in that privilege—that opportunity to serve Him using the talents that He has so graciously given me. I mean, seriously, how many people get the chance to do something they really love and serve the Lord at the same time?

I love theater. I used to tell my friends that if going full-time in theater would give me a stable source of income, I’d do theater all my life. I’m generally shy, more of an introvert, really, but when I’m on stage, saying lines I know by heart, or when I tell an actor how to deliver a line or block a scene, I feel content, like everything and anything in the universe is in its proper order. And working with those young people—no matter how many times I wanted to bite their heads off for always being late for rehearsals or inattentive to my instructions—really, honestly, inspires me. It reminds me of how I was once back when I was just starting to act for a church play (although I can say, sans false humility and all that, that I almost always come on time and I rarely do things that would make my director want to throw a shoe at me), of how inexperienced and so much of a noob I was, and how by God’s grace and the patience of my director, I developed into a half-decent actor who could face a crowd of fifty-or-so people to perform a character that is nothing like me.

I love my actors. Headache-inducing bunch and all, I love them with all my little broken heart can take. And yes, I love myself too. But more than that, I love the Lord. And if theater is the way to serve Him best, then I don't pretty much care about anything else.

If anyone asks me if I’d be willing to do all of that all over again, I’d answer with a resounding YES.

And what do you know? We have another production this coming December. I don’t have any material yet, just bits and pieces swimming in the wasteland called my brain, but with God’s help, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.

After all, that is my job.