The Work of God

Music: "What This World Needs" by Casting Crowns

The perfect devotional reading greeted me a good morning as I was outlining in my head the things I need to do today (which include, but not limited to, reading and organizing the fifty or more columns I received for a side project, meet up with my friends, finish another blog post I've started weeks ago about the last play we produced, and, uhh, go jogging).

"It's not easy to stop trusting ourselves and rely on Christ. In this world, the message we hear is that value comes from what we do, what we earn, and what we accomplish. If we believe that, life becomes a prolonged struggle to fix everything that's broken and strive for perfection in all we do, we'll be driven and compulsive, busier than God ever meant us to be, trying to do extremely well what He never intended us to do."

Admittedly, I find it hard to rely on others, especially when it comes to tasks I need to finish. My way of thinking usually goes like this: "I better do this or that, since I know best what output I want. Besides, why bother other people when it's something I can accomplish by myself?" And often I find myself at the verge of burning out, cranky and moody, because I have too much on my plate. Plus I sound a little conceited. Like, give me your best shot, world, I can take it.

And that's just it. I can't always take it.

"Jesus was never that busy. Throughout His public ministry, He had much to do and only a little more that 3 years to do it, yet His pace was measured and deliberate.
"And so it comes to this: God's work must be done by God. We work, but we must rely on Him every step of the way."

 And so I love the little reminder highlighted in bold. God's work must be done by God. It reminds me of that famous Psalty's song:

It's not by might

Nor by power

But by my spirit

It's not by might

Nor by power

Says the Lord

It's not by my own power, but by God's spirit that I can do anything.

"Before you do anything else, begin your day by expressing your dependence on God. Ask Him to help you rely on Him. Growing faith, like any other job, is a job for God!"

And so my prayer is:

Lord, forgive me for depending too much on myself and too little on You. Thank you for reminding me that it's not by my own might that I can accomplish the  things I need to do, but by your spirit. Please help me be more dependent on you, and to let you do your work through me. Amen.

The Lonely Life (a.k.a. Many people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.)

Music: My mother and kuya eating in the dining room

I just want to share portions of my devotion for tonight, since I think a lot of people suffer from depression or plain loneliness. Dave Branon says:

Using God's Word, discover how the following three actions can help to ease your loneliness:

1. Learn contentment. Read Philippians 4:10-13*, then ask God to help you to depend on Him each day and to learn to be content in any situation.

2. Do good for someone. Read Hebrews 13:1-3**, then look for someone in need of help. You'll get rid of loneliness for both of you.

3. Worship with God's people. Hebrews 10:21-25*** emphasize the value of worshiping with other believers. Find someone with whom you can praise God.

If you're feeling lonely, lean on Jesus for contentment. Help someone else. And worship God with other believers. These actions will redirect your thinking and remind you that when you know God you're never alone.

I may not be undergoing depression right now, but like most people, I've been there, done that. And I have had bouts of loneliness every now and then (recently, to be honest), but I've learned to be content (as much as I could), and to focus on what I have rather than what I don't. It's not as easy as it sounds, but with constant communication with the Lord (and crazy but wonderful friends), I think I'm doing pretty well.

I also remember a conversation I had with my high school best friend years back. I was telling her about a problem I had, but not in a way that showed that I was bothered with it or something. Then she said something that made me pause and think for a bit. She said that I always listen to other people's problems and try to fix things for them, that I don't have any time left to deal with mine. After some thought, I told her that by doing so, I can focus on others' problems and forget my own. Though it may not be the healthiest of practices, I think I understand how it can connect to step #2. By helping other people, you have less time to worry about your own loneliness. And the sense of fulfillment when you see someone's day brighten up because of you is wonderful as well.

And of course, worshiping God, whether alone or in a group, is a sure-fire way to ease the loneliness that may be slowly eating you. Because, really, what better way to feel joy than talk to the greatest listener of all?

Footnotes:

* 10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

** 1 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. 3 Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

*** 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

i cannot hear Him because i'm not paying attention

Music: Late-night background noise from outside my bedroom window

For a time now, I've been struggling to hear God's instructions in my heart, trying to find out what direction He wants me to take. During my devotion two nights ago, I read this in my devotional book:

"If you have been through a time in which you felt God was silent, you remember the disquiet you experienced in your inner being. Sometimes God chooses to withhold specific direction for a while. He wants you to wait on Him with a spirit of obedience and expectancy. However, it's always important to examine your heart because something there may block your ability to hear Him."

Charles Stanley lists down two possible reasons why we can't hear God's voice in our hearts:

1. The influence of others might be getting in the way.

2. A sin in your life may prevent good communication with the Lord.

It got me thinking: am I doing things the wrong way? Am I letting other people influence me and do the opposite of what God wants me to do? Or do I have an un-confessed sin that's stopping me from talking to the Lord as openly as I should be?

Then another reason popped in this thing called my brain: Maybe the main reason why I'm not hearing His voice is because I wasn't really paying attention. Maybe He's been trying to talk to me, but like the idiot that I am, I'm too distracted to distinguish His voice from the other little voices in my head. Maybe that's why I've been screwing up things for the past few, oh I dunno, months?

I've always prided myself with the fact that I'm a good listener. People would come to me and I'd listen to their stories, their problems, their heartaches. For a while I actually thought that's the only thing I'm good at--listening. Then I figured listening to other people's sentiments helps me forget about my own troubles--something my high school best friend pointed out as a bad habit, because she said I need to take care of myself too.

Then I realize that no matter how great a listener I am, I've failed to listen to the most important voice there is--His voice. I listen to so many people, to so many little voices in my head, and yet, I haven't really been listening to Him.

Dear Lord, don't let others influence me in decisions. Continually cleanse me from sin so that the lines of communication will remain open between us. And help me to be a good listener, to be able to distinguish Your voice from the other voices in my head.

to forgive or not to forgive

Music: Emmanuel by Hillsong United

A day after I posted my "to the guy brave enough to tie the knot with me" entry, a guy friend commented in my FB account and said:

"...and never forgive someone who cheats. Not even once. Especially when you're married."

(Well, yes, he said many things other than that, but that's what struck me the most. Especially since he's a guy.)

Tonight, I open my devotional book and the entry for today is telling me to "draw on the unlimited account of [God's] forgiveness" as I "deal with personal relationships and people [who] hurt me, sometimes repeatedly."

I try to think of people who have hurt me repeatedly, and one person jumps to the top of my list. But I have already forgiven him, and we both have moved on, so I try to think of other people whom I might forgotten but not really forgiven.

I remember a girl back in high school, who was one year my senior, and how much I loathed her because she said I'm good-for-nothing. I recall a classmate who said I couldn't sing, and at that time I was so insulted that I never spoke to her again. I think of an officemate who tried to blame me for a mistake she did, and how I was never able to look at her the same way again after that incident. I think about my former best friend's girlfriend, who accused me of liking her boyfriend, and how I blocked her from my FB account because I found no point in continuously arguing with her.

Now that I think about it, I probably will never have the chance to talk to any of these people anymore (well, maybe except for the officemate), but I can pray and ask God to help me forgive them, and to forgive me as well. Sure, my grievances may seem like petty cares that should be forgotten, and I have indeed forgotten about most of them (the person and the wrong they did), but I realized I've never really forgiven them, never really prayed for them, never really asked forgiveness for being angry at them.

And so, I will pray for my senior to be successful in whatever career she's in, and hope that she will be good at something, anything. I will pray for my classmate and her beautiful voice (oh yes, she could sing), and hope that her talent will take her to places. I will pray for my officemate, that we can remain civil, even if we can no longer be friends. And I will pray for my ex-best friend's girlfriend, that she will have a happy relationship with his guy, and hope that she never finds out that he's playing around behind her back. Lastly, I will pray for myself, that I can stop being sarcastic and such a pain, and that I may be humble enough to know that I am also in the wrong, and accept that I cannot forgive and forget, unless the Lord helps me do it.

Oh, and as for the cheating husband?

I'll stick by what I said in my earlier post :)

not a people-person

Music: Dancing Through Life from the Wicked soundtrack

"Ask Him to uncover any difficult areas of your personality that may block others from getting closer to you." - Charles Stanley, Into His Presence

Uh-huh.

Reasons why I scare people off:

1. I'm sarcastic most of the time, and the few times I'm not, nobody believes I'm sincere. I think it has something to do with the tone of my voice.

2. I'm cynical and jaded, and I don't believe in happy endings. Or princesses needing knight-in-shining-armors.

3. I am unable to keep a smile on my face for more than five minutes. In simpler words, I frown a lot.

4. I'm moody, I'm messy, and I get senseless. And I'm sadistic. Seriously, literally sadistic.

5. I have a very dry humor. I don't laugh at other people's jokes, and only a few can laugh at mine.

6. Impatient. 'nuff said.

7. I'm frank... brutally frank, bordering to tactless. At least I'm honest.

8. When I tell you I don't like you and I don't want to be friends, I mean it.

9. I appear intimidating to some. I'm not sure if it's the arched eyebrows or the really small, almost chinita eyes.

10. I'm generally not a people-person.

But the Lord is telling me that "A man who has friends must himself be friendly..." (Proverbs 18:24a). Friendly I am not. But he's telling me to work on my friendships with others, so I guess I should start doing that.

Even when it's hard.

Even when I'd rather hibernate than make friends with certain individuals. And I'm not even a polar bear.

Because He's saying that we should love everyone, not just the people we like. So I guess that should be my prayer right now.

Lord, reveal to me any problems in my personality that may block others from getting closer to me. Let me experience Your unconditional love so I can share it with others.

(And please give me the patience to deal with the idiots who would cross my path.)

living life to the fullest

Music: Into the Airwaves by Jack's Mannequin

My devotion for today is a great way to start September, I think. The Scripture reading part pointed me to I Thess. 5:1-14, where I was reminded that I am a son (well, daughter, if you want to be gender-specific) of the light and of the day, and that I do not belong to the night or to the darkness. That, and that the Lord will come like a thief in the night, at a time where we least expect it, so we must always be prepared. Always.

Then renowned gospel preacher and evangelist Charles Stanley (yes, I use his Into His Presence devotional) explains the meaning of living life to the fullest, and I quote:

What does living life to the fullest mean to you? Some may picture a life-long dream being fulfilled. Others may think of a comfortable retirement, while many more envision what they can achieve if given enough time. But if you really want to start living life to the fullest, begin with Jesus. He is the fulfillment of all your dreams. In Him, you will find the things you need the most--contentment, love, and friendship.

Living life to the fullest also involves your ability to encourage and support others emotionally through prayer. God commands us to love others. Without a godly love tucked away inside your heart, you cannot successfully encourage someone else. And all of us need encouragement. Let Jesus be the object of your affections; then you find that loving even the unlovely will bring pleasure and encouragement to your heart.

This, of course, forces me to ask myself the question: Am I living my life to the fullest? Am I doing what Jesus wants me to do--to love and support other people, even those who are so hard to get along with? Am I being a good example of what a Christian should be like?

My answer? Not so much.

I'm cynical and jaded, frank and sarcastic, and I posses so dry a humor that sometimes not even my closest friends can appreciate my jokes. I speak my mind, even when I know someone will get hurt or offended, and I find some people so repulsive the mere sight of them makes me cringe in disgust. Then the Lord suddenly reminds me, bam!, I'm supposed to love people, even the repulsive ones. Da-amn.

But the start of a new month promises a new beginning. Hopefully, with God's help, I'll be able to live my life to the fullest, one step at a time.

So to start the month, and hopefully a less-cynical-and-more-appreciative outlook in life, I pray the prayer at the end of the devotion:

I want to live life to the fullest, Lord, and I know that will happen only as I experience Your love. Give me Your love--even for the unlovely.