The Lonely Life (a.k.a. Many people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.)

Music: My mother and kuya eating in the dining room

I just want to share portions of my devotion for tonight, since I think a lot of people suffer from depression or plain loneliness. Dave Branon says:

Using God's Word, discover how the following three actions can help to ease your loneliness:

1. Learn contentment. Read Philippians 4:10-13*, then ask God to help you to depend on Him each day and to learn to be content in any situation.

2. Do good for someone. Read Hebrews 13:1-3**, then look for someone in need of help. You'll get rid of loneliness for both of you.

3. Worship with God's people. Hebrews 10:21-25*** emphasize the value of worshiping with other believers. Find someone with whom you can praise God.

If you're feeling lonely, lean on Jesus for contentment. Help someone else. And worship God with other believers. These actions will redirect your thinking and remind you that when you know God you're never alone.

I may not be undergoing depression right now, but like most people, I've been there, done that. And I have had bouts of loneliness every now and then (recently, to be honest), but I've learned to be content (as much as I could), and to focus on what I have rather than what I don't. It's not as easy as it sounds, but with constant communication with the Lord (and crazy but wonderful friends), I think I'm doing pretty well.

I also remember a conversation I had with my high school best friend years back. I was telling her about a problem I had, but not in a way that showed that I was bothered with it or something. Then she said something that made me pause and think for a bit. She said that I always listen to other people's problems and try to fix things for them, that I don't have any time left to deal with mine. After some thought, I told her that by doing so, I can focus on others' problems and forget my own. Though it may not be the healthiest of practices, I think I understand how it can connect to step #2. By helping other people, you have less time to worry about your own loneliness. And the sense of fulfillment when you see someone's day brighten up because of you is wonderful as well.

And of course, worshiping God, whether alone or in a group, is a sure-fire way to ease the loneliness that may be slowly eating you. Because, really, what better way to feel joy than talk to the greatest listener of all?

Footnotes:

* 10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

** 1 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. 3 Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

*** 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

christmas eve (a not-really-a-christmas poem)

Music: Natutulog Ba Ang Diyos by Gary Valenciano

While browsing over my old notebook, I found a poem I've written at the back of a baptismal programme two years ago. It was probably one of the last poems I've ever written, and now that I've reread it, I realize that I kind of like what I wrote, despite the fact that it's pretty...uh...pathetic.

It was originally untitled, but I thought of a more or less appropriate title for it now. Revised it a bit, but the general idea is the same.

christmas eve

you put down the phone and mentally pat yourself on the back

for not breaking down

and you close your eyes tight and try not to cry

(still you see his face, oh so vividly)

in your mind you see him boarding that wretched silver bird that will

take him away from you

forever (forever is such a long time)

to a place with no rain nor snow

and the only storms are those made of sand

and you see him plain as day

looking down the black ocean filled with regrets and bitterness

of spending so much time with each other

(still, it is never enough)

and minute after minute he flies farther away

and second after second he slowly forgets your voice that

calmed him many a sleepless nights

and he sees the horizon

and dreams of men and women

in long, flowing robes

and you let the first tear fall

the minute he steps on foreign soil

(still, you know he is not coming back)

of boomerangs and nervous breakdowns

Music: Boomerang, MAE

Sometimes I feel sad for no reason at all. Or for reasons that are completely stupid and childish.

This is one of those times.

Listening to MAE's Boomerang is weird, given the circumstances.

But now that I'm done listening to it, I'm sort of, unexpectedly, happier. Or at least less sad.

I think I'm heading for a nervous breakdown.

Boomerang (MAE)

I'm not supposed to miss you, 'cause you're not coming back.

And I wish I never kissed you, so what do you think of that?

What did I get myself into?
In the back of my mind there will always be the catch and throw away.
But this moment's got me thinking I could reach you.

And I'm waking up alone and echo the song sung yesterday and begging you to come back home.

'Cause you're my boomerang.

My repititous twist of fate.

But unexpectedly this time you don't come back to me.

Still you go on and on for someone else.

This back and forth gets me going around and round.

And I'm so worn out and dizzy while you knock the good ones down.

Now I want to know the truth--do you even miss me?
'Cause in the back of my mind I could always feel the push and pull away.

And now I can see that you were leaving me.

When you're my boomerang and I tried so hard to make you stay.

Without a doubt I see this time you won't come back to me.
So fly, fly, fly like a bird in the atmosphere.

Glide, glide, let the breeze you're feeling take you there.

Fly away from me.

In the back of my mind there'll always be the catch and throw away.

But this time I'll let it fly and not try to reach you.

Because getting up alone will help me grow my own pair of wings and the time has come for me to fly.

Oh boomerang, I'm down to let you go, 'cause you're my boomerang.

And the fun we had was all in vain.

But unexpectedly this time you won't come back to me.

Still you go on and on for someone, go on and on for someone else.

Fly, Fly, Fly like a bird in the atmosphere.

Glide, glide let the breeze you're feeling take you there.

Ride, ride on the wind the gets you out of here.

Fly away from me.